I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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