Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
