How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
handjob tips. give me some.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
