none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
