Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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