I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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