I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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