This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
