thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
