she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
