I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
