do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
