Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
