God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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