I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
