I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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