i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
