I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize