how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
