when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
