I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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