once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
