Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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