Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
