There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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