Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
