I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
