you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
