I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
