so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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