I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
