Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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