Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Four minutes until I can fart!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
