fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
