whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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