you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
then he tried to convert me to islam
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
