R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
