I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
