god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
