Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just sent this text using only my big toe
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
