Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
