So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I checked into jail on foursquare
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
