fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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