no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
