I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
