tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Mom said you looked used
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize