I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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