There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
