Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
