What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
