Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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