I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
