I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize