Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
