I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
