How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
You don't make any sense
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