she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
