Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
