thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
