If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
