So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
