Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just sucked dick on a ferry
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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